Sunday, December 30, 2007

the past year...

i feel so blessed because this year i get to start out in new orleans, the place where so much of my heart yearns to be. people keep asking me when i am going to move here, and i am trying not to make plans. in my thinking about this future year and whether it may or may not bring me to new orleans for good, i can't help but realize how much happened in this past year that was totally unplanned at this point a year ago.

i lived in three different places: colorado (maybe for the last time), new orleans (for the second time), and nashville (for the very first time). the circumstances that brought me to and from these places was completely GOD's planning. and i know that there was and is a purpose for each place in my life.

i grew up in my relationships. i think this past year was a significant time for me in realizing that my friendships have a purpose. while i love who my friends are, the purpose of relationship is not to just have fun. it is to recognize that GOD loves each of us and therefore we should love each other. there is a higher purpose to loving people than just "being their friend." we are called to encourage, teach, grow, and live together. sometimes this means letting go of relationships that are not glorifying to GOD and going deeper into relationships that are. it means calling each other out on hard stuff and reminding each other that GOD is bigger than it all. it means growing in our personal relationship with GOD for the purpose of sharing it with others. i feel very blessed to have the grown up relationships that i do now.

i realized that i am ready to meet my husband. before this year i was a huge huge commitment-phobe. i'm not saying i am prepared to jump into anything right this minute, but through so significant relationships in my life and the lives of my good friends i have realize that i am ready. GOD has prepared me for something, whether it comes in this next year, ten years down the road, or never, i know that my heart is in this place right now for a reason. i am ready, just waiting on GOD's timing now.

i learned what it means that GOD's timing is perfect and mine is not. a major life plan flew out the window this year. i spent the past seven years preparing myself to teach high school english, and i hated it. so everything has changed. if it had been my timing, i would have known i would hate it before taking all those classes, but GOD's timing was different. HE needed me to be in a certain place at a certain time. HE needed me to learn the lessons that i did during my student teaching. i probably would never have gone back to new orleans or moved to nashville or thought about grad school. GOD's timing is perfect. mine is not.

a lot more happened in this past year that i won't get into. what i have written is significant for me. if you should choose to read this, i hope some significance jumps from the screen into your life. if not, that's fine too.

dig it.