or i guess i should say continues...
i got into grad school at DU. i found out this information as i was bringing my sister's dry cleaning inside before getting ready to go to the rehearsal for her wedding. needless to say...it was an overwhelming moment for me. i was so wrapped up in my excitement for my sister and all of a sudden i switched gears. after the phone call and some hugs and tears with the fam, i switched back into wedding gear. i didn't want anything (even my own happy news) to distract me from my sister's happy happy day!
but now she is married and on her honeymoon and i'm back in new orleans facing the reality of my future. 6-7 more months in nola. trying to figure out what that will look like, how i'm going to pay for grad school, how moving back in with parents is going to work, what i'm going to do in the CO next summer, what kind of legacy i want to leave at my current job, how i'm going to remove myself from resposibilities at church but still remain involved, etc...
6 months seems equal parts forever and the blink of an eye right now. luckily i have the mental capacity to realize that it is too soon to start packing, but not too soon to start shedding possessions (i like to move with the minimum amount of stuff).
if there is one thing that makes me truly excited about the next 6 months it is how many lists and plans i get to make!! i know, mentally ill, but i love love love that stuff!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
the greatest feeling in the world...
i think one of the greatest feelings in the world is being able to say "i did all i could and i did it to the best of my ability." luckily, that's how i feel about finishing up my grad school admissions process. i had an interview this morning, which was the final piece. they should have a decision to me in about two weeks. i feel that i have a strong application, but i also know that if they don't accept me i won't look back and say woulda coulda shoulda about anything. i studied my butt off for the GMAT (and it paid off!), i submitted good essays, i got two great recommendations, and i kicked butt in my interview. so if they don't accept me, it isn't because i didn't represent myself in the best light. and that feels good.
i wish the rockies could feel the same way i do right now. but i don't really think they do...
i wish the rockies could feel the same way i do right now. but i don't really think they do...
Thursday, October 8, 2009
signs of latent stress
1) road rage. at first i thought there was just an increase in traffic at unreasonable times, and then i realized it was just an increase in my annoyance at every other person on the road.
2) saying (or typing) every thought i have. not that i'm a particularly filtered person to begin with...but there are things that shouldn't be released into the wild.
3) having extra-sharp snarky thoughts. which then is compounded by the above impulse.
4) accepting every offer. this is incredibly counter-intuitive, i know. but when i'm stressed or pressed for time, i have a harder time setting and keeping my boundaries. signing up to cook pizza and cupcakes for 6 people the night before leaving on a 10 day trip for which you haven't packed yet? sure! sounds like a great idea!
5) not sleeping. umm...no surprise here, i guess.
6) bizarre dreams. like...being part of a deep-sea exploration team and running into old high school friends on the sea floor.
7) having a heightened emotional relationship to music. ie: yelling at the radio when it plays stupid music. getting teary-eyed when kbco.com plays g-love and special sauce.
8) craving oreos and peanut butter. this was my go to snack stress snack freshmen year of college. the desire for it completely took over in the grocery store the other day.
9) getting irrationally angry at my boss. for having a loud desk chair.
10) then getting frustrated at myself that i can't seem to control any of the above.
if this is how i am two weeks before my sister's wedding...God help the people who are around me if i ever get married!!
2) saying (or typing) every thought i have. not that i'm a particularly filtered person to begin with...but there are things that shouldn't be released into the wild.
3) having extra-sharp snarky thoughts. which then is compounded by the above impulse.
4) accepting every offer. this is incredibly counter-intuitive, i know. but when i'm stressed or pressed for time, i have a harder time setting and keeping my boundaries. signing up to cook pizza and cupcakes for 6 people the night before leaving on a 10 day trip for which you haven't packed yet? sure! sounds like a great idea!
5) not sleeping. umm...no surprise here, i guess.
6) bizarre dreams. like...being part of a deep-sea exploration team and running into old high school friends on the sea floor.
7) having a heightened emotional relationship to music. ie: yelling at the radio when it plays stupid music. getting teary-eyed when kbco.com plays g-love and special sauce.
8) craving oreos and peanut butter. this was my go to snack stress snack freshmen year of college. the desire for it completely took over in the grocery store the other day.
9) getting irrationally angry at my boss. for having a loud desk chair.
10) then getting frustrated at myself that i can't seem to control any of the above.
if this is how i am two weeks before my sister's wedding...God help the people who are around me if i ever get married!!
Monday, October 5, 2009
the easy part is meeting them. the hard part is everything else...
being a single twenty-something female is an interesting experience. although, i will concede that my experience does not stand as a universal truth by any stretch of the imagination. i live in new orleans (party city!), i have ZERO single male friends, i have several friends who are married, pregnant, or already have kids. also, i am pretty fearless with the opposite sex.
i throw that last fact in because i have a lot of single female friends who aren't. they have a very different experience from me in that they don't "meet" people. i've gotten to the point, however, where i realize that a man isn't going to just show up at my door and announce that he is my new boyfriend, best friend, future husband, whatever. granted, if someone did that, i'm pretty sure i would slam the door shut faster than you can say "God's gift to women..."
now, not every guy i meet when i'm out is worth even the time it takes me to smile and say hello. i can usually judge that pretty quickly (practice makes perfect, i guess). take for example friday night of this past week. in an effort to "put myself out there" in a variety of different situations, i went to a social event hosted by my friend's nonprofit. i dragged my friend along with me a) for support, 2) because we always lament the lack of "new people" in our lives, and d) you always need a wingman. there were plenty of new people there, male and female. we had mojitos, chips and dip, and pasta salad along with our social interaction.
after chatting up several different people (even exchanging business cards! but for work purposes only) two young gentlemen approached our corner of the room. they strategically placed themselves so that a conversation would be inevitable (not very subtley, i might add). anyway, i began chatting first with B, who initiated conversation while his wingman casually engaged my previous conversation partner. B was actually very charming, funny, attractive, etc... he was able to do three things in the conversation that i appreciated. he could stay on topic (and not just talk about himself), he could make me laugh with comments that fit into the conversation, and he would occasionally refer back to an earlier part of the conversation which accomplishes two things, proves he was listening and makes it feel like we have an established friendship already.
eventually my friend joined the conversation along with B's friend, G. we were all having a grand time talking and laughing. nothing seemed amiss and there was definitely a spark of interest between myself and B. but as the conversation kept going, it became obvious to me at some point that the next step needed to be taken. so i began with "what are you guys doing later tonight?" (it was only about 8:30 at this point).
what followed was a disaster. B said something dumb along the lines of "oh, probably something alone, by myself. it's a lonely city" to which i replied, unamused "really? new orleans is a lonely city?" then B and G proceeded to shoot sideways glances at each other, laugh, and refer to some sort of "inside joke." ugh. over it. and we left.
our next encounter was with two guys at one of our regular bars. i was feeling a little saucy at that point, so after catching A's eye a few times i finally winked at him. and of course he came over with his friend...?...to chat. while i thought A was hilarious and fun...my friend was not equally amused with ? so after dragging her with me to go to another bar with them and play a game of pool, i had to inform A that i needed to get my friend home. she was over it. so i gave A my number, bid him farewell, and hoped for the best. haven't heard from him since.
the easy part is meeting them. the hard part is everything else.
if nothing else, i'm becoming more open to meeting new people and, at the same time, more discerning about who actually deserves my time and energy when i'm out with friends. at least, that's what i'm hoping to get from this whole experience.
in other news...
i'm a sucker for obscure pop-culture references. i'll forgive a lot of sins if you can pull out lines like "in the game LIFE, did you always go to college?" (of course my answer was "yes, always" and his was "never, waste of six spaces")
i throw that last fact in because i have a lot of single female friends who aren't. they have a very different experience from me in that they don't "meet" people. i've gotten to the point, however, where i realize that a man isn't going to just show up at my door and announce that he is my new boyfriend, best friend, future husband, whatever. granted, if someone did that, i'm pretty sure i would slam the door shut faster than you can say "God's gift to women..."
now, not every guy i meet when i'm out is worth even the time it takes me to smile and say hello. i can usually judge that pretty quickly (practice makes perfect, i guess). take for example friday night of this past week. in an effort to "put myself out there" in a variety of different situations, i went to a social event hosted by my friend's nonprofit. i dragged my friend along with me a) for support, 2) because we always lament the lack of "new people" in our lives, and d) you always need a wingman. there were plenty of new people there, male and female. we had mojitos, chips and dip, and pasta salad along with our social interaction.
after chatting up several different people (even exchanging business cards! but for work purposes only) two young gentlemen approached our corner of the room. they strategically placed themselves so that a conversation would be inevitable (not very subtley, i might add). anyway, i began chatting first with B, who initiated conversation while his wingman casually engaged my previous conversation partner. B was actually very charming, funny, attractive, etc... he was able to do three things in the conversation that i appreciated. he could stay on topic (and not just talk about himself), he could make me laugh with comments that fit into the conversation, and he would occasionally refer back to an earlier part of the conversation which accomplishes two things, proves he was listening and makes it feel like we have an established friendship already.
eventually my friend joined the conversation along with B's friend, G. we were all having a grand time talking and laughing. nothing seemed amiss and there was definitely a spark of interest between myself and B. but as the conversation kept going, it became obvious to me at some point that the next step needed to be taken. so i began with "what are you guys doing later tonight?" (it was only about 8:30 at this point).
what followed was a disaster. B said something dumb along the lines of "oh, probably something alone, by myself. it's a lonely city" to which i replied, unamused "really? new orleans is a lonely city?" then B and G proceeded to shoot sideways glances at each other, laugh, and refer to some sort of "inside joke." ugh. over it. and we left.
our next encounter was with two guys at one of our regular bars. i was feeling a little saucy at that point, so after catching A's eye a few times i finally winked at him. and of course he came over with his friend...?...to chat. while i thought A was hilarious and fun...my friend was not equally amused with ? so after dragging her with me to go to another bar with them and play a game of pool, i had to inform A that i needed to get my friend home. she was over it. so i gave A my number, bid him farewell, and hoped for the best. haven't heard from him since.
the easy part is meeting them. the hard part is everything else.
if nothing else, i'm becoming more open to meeting new people and, at the same time, more discerning about who actually deserves my time and energy when i'm out with friends. at least, that's what i'm hoping to get from this whole experience.
in other news...
i'm a sucker for obscure pop-culture references. i'll forgive a lot of sins if you can pull out lines like "in the game LIFE, did you always go to college?" (of course my answer was "yes, always" and his was "never, waste of six spaces")
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