Monday, August 9, 2010

the best laid plans...

i'm a planner. those of you who know me, know this is undeniably true. i like to have all the steps written down before i head down a path. my plans range from what am i doing after work today to what am i doing ten years from now... granted, i'm 26, so by now i've learned that my plans don't always work out. but that doesn't really stop me from making them. and clinging to the hope that things will go according to schedule.

for the past year and a half, my plan has been to go to grad school and come out on the other side with an MBA next to my name. i have hopes and dreams of making business better by facilitating sustainable practices and partnerships with nonprofits. and in preparation for grad school, i got a sweet internship at a company that does just that!

of course, as i'm sure you have figured out by now, things don't always work out how i planned. right now there is a possibility of a full-time job with this company. which would be awesome! except it would mean postponing grad school or canceling altogether. so...

really, i'm not complaining at all because my situation is win-win, right? either go back to school, which was my plan anyway, or get a job in the field i was hoping to get into after school. my problem right now isn't either outcome, it's getting my head into a place where i'm okay with changing plans. my coworker said to me "kristin, would you have come back to colorado if it wasn't for school?" and i said "no way" and she made the great argument of "maybe the whole point was to get you back to colorado for the purpose of getting this job..." oh geez. the bait and switch. i'm convinced that's God's only successful way of getting me to do anything in life. trick me into thinking i have a plan, and then throw a bonus wrench into the gears.

in any case, the job hasn't been offered, it's just a possibility that i have to bring up to my boss this week. so no decisions have to be made right now. except maybe the decision to let go?

the joy i can derive from this, though, is that every time i go through this same trial, it gets easier and easier to say "thy will be done."